Seven weeks post op and there's a beach holiday booked for mid October that I can't cancel. Will the sun ruin my scars, and can I even get in the sea?

SMAS lift with neck work on 18 July, upper lids done at the same time, and as some of you know I nearly talked myself out of the whole thing about four times. Seven weeks on and I'm mostly glad, the neck is a revelation, the scars behind my ears are pink and a bit ridged and the ones in front are already hard to find.

The problem is a holiday. It was booked in January, before any of this, it's two weeks in the sun in the middle of October with my sister, and the deposit is the kind you don't get back. I'll be about twelve weeks out when we fly. And I have suddenly realised that I have no idea what the rules are. Every leaflet says "avoid sun exposure" and nothing else. Avoid it for how long? Is it the scars they're worried about or the whole face? Can I swim in the sea, or a pool, with scars behind my ears that still look like they mean business? Will I swell up in the heat? And the one that's actually keeping me up: my sister-in-law had a tummy tuck years ago and went on holiday too soon and her scar went DARK BROWN and stayed that way, and I keep picturing that in front of each ear where the whole world can see it.

I am not going to cancel. I just want to go with the right hat and the right fear rather than the wrong ones.

I went away in June at about five months and I can tell you the swelling in the heat is real but not dramatic. My face was a little puffier in the evenings for the first few days, more so around the jaw, and it went down overnight in air conditioning. Nobody but me noticed.

The scars I was militant about. Factor 50, a hat, and I put a tiny dab of sunscreen on the lines behind my ears every single time I put it on my face, which felt absurd and which I'd do again. Mine are silvery now. The bit you can't plan for is your sister taking a photo of you squinting in the sun with your hair pushed back. Mine did. Scars invisible. Turns out I'd been guarding them from a threat that never showed up.

GailS61 said:

her scar went DARK BROWN and stayed that way

This happened to me, in a small way, and I want to tell you exactly how so you can not do it. Deep plane, and at about ten weeks I sat in a garden for a long lunch in May with no hat and with my hair tucked behind my ears because it was warm. One patch of the scar in front of my right ear, maybe a centimetre, went noticeably darker than the rest over the following fortnight. Not dark brown, but a tan-coloured line on skin that hadn't tanned. The rest of the scar, which had been under hair, didn't.

It faded, slowly, over roughly six months, and now I can't find it. But the point is that it took one lunch, not a fortnight on a beach. The skin over a young scar has none of its usual defences and it pigments far more readily than the skin either side of it. I don't think this is a reason to cancel. I think it's a reason to become the sort of person who owns a wide hat.

One more thing I only understood afterwards: my cheek in front of that ear was still partly numb, and I never felt it burning. Numb skin doesn't warn you.

Six months out and adding the swimming bit, because I asked my surgeon this exact question at my six week check and got a surprisingly precise answer. His view was that once every incision was fully closed with no scabs and nothing weeping, a pool or the sea was fine, and for me that was somewhere between four and six weeks. His concern before that wasn't the salt or the chlorine, it was bacteria in an open wound. By twelve weeks yours will be long past that.

What he did say to avoid for longer was anything hot: saunas, steam rooms, a hot tub, and lying in direct midday sun with a hot face, all of which push swelling back up. So the sea at nine in the morning was fine and a sun lounger at two in the afternoon was not, and I organised my days accordingly. The harder part was remembering not to fall asleep on my side on the lounger.

Gail, the direct answer is that a holiday at twelve weeks is perfectly reasonable, the sea and a pool are not the problem, and the thing to protect is the scars specifically, for a good deal longer than the holiday.

The reasoning. Facelift scars mature over about 6 to 9 months, and during that time the new skin over the incision line has a thin, immature surface with very little of the pigment protection normal skin carries. Ultraviolet light on that surface produces post-inflammatory hyperpigmentation far more readily than on the skin beside it, which is exactly what happened to Annelise's centimetre and to your sister-in-law's abdomen. It is usually reversible over months, but it is slow to reverse and easy to prevent, and most surgeons ask for the scars to be shielded from direct sun for around 12 months. In practice that means a broad-spectrum sunscreen of at least SPF 30, reapplied, a hat with a real brim, and hair worn over the ears where it can be, for the whole of that first year rather than just the fortnight in October. The site's guide to facelift scars shows where each line runs, which tells you exactly where to put the sunscreen.

On swimming, Vivienne's surgeon gave the standard answer: once every incision is closed, dry and free of scabs, water is fine, and that is typically at 4 to 6 weeks. At twelve weeks there is no wound to infect. Heat is the more relevant variable for you. Anything that raises the temperature of the face, prolonged midday sun, a sauna or a hot tub, increases swelling, and at three months you still have some deeper swelling to lose, so expect the jaw and ears to be a little fuller in the evenings and to settle overnight. That is ordinary, not a setback.

Two things worth taking seriously rather than filing under caution. First, Annelise's point about numbness is important: sensation over the cheek and around the ear is commonly reduced for months after a facelift, so the usual warning that you are burning may simply not arrive, and the routine has to replace the feeling. Second, your upper lids were done at the same time and those scars run in the lid crease, which is a site that catches sun when you look down at a book on a beach; sunglasses with a proper wrap cover that. On the flight itself, twelve weeks is well past the window where any of the usual concerns apply, and there is no reason to sit differently from anyone else, though a lounger is not a bed and the side-sleeping caution in sleeping after a facelift is largely behind you by then.

What I would not do is treat any of this as a substitute for a word with your own surgeon before you fly. He knows what he closed and how it is healing, and a two-minute look at those ridged lines behind your ears at your next appointment is worth more than anything I can reason from a description.

Spoke to the clinic, had a quick look done on Wednesday, and it was three minutes of him pressing on the ridges behind my ears and saying "healing exactly as expected, wear a hat". So that's the plan. I have bought a hat that my sister describes as "agricultural", a tube of factor 50 that lives in my handbag, and the widest sunglasses the shop had. Morning swims, shade after lunch, no sauna, and my hair down over my ears for the entire fortnight even if I look like a spaniel.

Thank you all. The right hat and the right fear, as ordered.